Tough Decision
Step 1: In the next couple weeks I am going to have to make a decision that is going to change my life. I know it will affect my family and my way of life on daily bases. I am in the second step process of being offered a new job as Program Director. This will be a full time position and a substantial annual income. This position is at a new school just being built with all new state of the art technology. The school is 1 hour and 35 minutes away from my home. I would have to leave Pennsylvania for 9 weeks for training in California. Step 2: Possible choices:
- Huge opportunity for advancement
- Stay here at the school where I teach now, which is closer and hope for full time position eventually
- Move closer to new job
- Uproot my daughter who is 15 and place her in new school and away from her boyfriend and close friends
- Make the commute every day till my daughter is out of school in 3 years
- Get an apartment local to school and only come home on weekends
- Huge expense for additional living arrangements
- A lot of miles on vehicle/gas to drive back and forth
- Save money and wear and tear on vehicle by making the move closer
- Moving closer would save me almost 3 hours a day in travel time
- No visible advancement at school I am at now
- Full time, benefits and large salary at new job
- Part time now, no benefits and medium pay
- Moving closer would then create a drive for my husband to return to the Allentown area for his job
- Move half way for both of us so that we stay together as a family
- Full time hours all day time hours 6-2 or 8-4 pm
Step 3: evaluate Pros and Cons
I see the big picture here that this is a new school and huge opportunity for advancement. I recently worked at another school that was completely a dead end job with no ladder to work your way to the top. The school I am at now is part time however may lead to full time eventually. I see no advancement within the school to go anywhere else other than an instructor. I have invested my time to get a Bachelor Degree to use to my career advancement, so staying where I am at probably has no benefit to use my education and create a challenge for me in life. The con to the new job is the drive and distances. I would have no problem leaving tomorrow, however I have one daughter left at home and she is 15 and in 10th grade. So do I stay close to home at a part time no advancement job ? Or do I take the position, make great money, drive 3 hours a day, need a new car every couple years and be away from my family ?
Step 4: Selecting choice to meet the needs of my situation: It does provide financial security, and everyone who knows me, know that I like money and lots of it!!! The personal fulfillment is that I would be a Program Director using my education to direct new instructors and build a better school based from my previous experience. I have never had this important role and looking forward to the new challenges that may be ahead of me.
Step 5: Implement a plan: My short term goal at this point would be to be offered the position. I would accept it with honors. For the first 3-6 months I would drive back and fourth until I make sure I like it and plan to stay there for the long run. My son is interested in going to school close to my new job so we could get an apartment together which would get my through the first year or even two years at my new job. I would move to an area closer or even half way between my husband’s job and my new job. I have nothing holding me to this particular area for a long term commitment.
Summary: I know that things may change along the way and I may need to make adjustments. This entire year has been a big change for me so why not take the risk and see where it leads. A year ago I would never thought that I would be out of that dead end job. I was happy with the overtime and paychecks. I hated the management team that I worked under, nothing was fair but I had that security and I wasn’t going anywhere. Imagine now I am no longer there, looking back now I think to myself why did I ever stick it out for as long as I did ? You are never going to know until you take the leap of faith and try !!!
wow, this decision is a really big one for you that is for sure. I know that at times we have to make huge decisions that change our entire life because about 10 years ago, my family did something like you are thinking about doing and we went through a lot of "are we doing the right thing, should we just try something different here" etc. We moved from Michigan to North Carolina and had to leave behind a lot of memories in our home that we lived in for 14 years. Luckily, you can take a lot of your things because it sounds like you are not moving across country. We could not take everything, so had a sale and sold a lot of precious things like my son's first bike, my baby grand piano, my husbands antique cars (2). We uprooted my younger son who was in the 5th grade and my older son who was just graduating from HS and sold our home, moved and yes while you go through the question you also need to decide whether or not what you are doing will end result meet your family needs and will you be happier? I always put my family first so with this move yes, it meant more money for both of us, but I asked my kids their thoughts and both of them because they were old enough to make a decision on their own said we were doing the right thing. My oldest son stayed with friends to graduate and we did end up moving to a new state and looking back...I don't regret it for a minute. We are doing much better here with better jobs, weather is so much nicer and yes, I did get my baby grand this year.
ReplyDeleteI guess whatever choice you make ... the biggest things you need to ask yourself is this: "am I doing this for the right reasons, is this move just for the money" because if you choose money remember this: money is not everything and it sometimes is the root of our problems. Think about your family and how they feel--are they supportive and if so, go for it. You only live once and if this is your golden opportunity to try something in your profession and make more money...try it. Rather than sell your house, drive it a bit then if things are still going well, move closer.
At any case I know this decision is a hard one. Good luck to you and your family as you make your decision. My thoughts and prayers are with you as you move on.
Tonia, I can tell this is going to be a hard decision for your family. I spent the last 20 years following my husband around the US and my kids had to follow if they liked it or not. While I think it is admirable that you want to save your daughter from the heartbreak of moving away from her boyfriend and school.
ReplyDeleteKids now days can make long distance relationships work with all this technology. Would she rather have her parents happy and not stressed out from the commute and living separately. Living away from your spouse is hard. I have spent a few years alone while my husband was in other countries and it is really hard on a relationship.
I am sure that you will make the best decision for your family and yourself. You need to think of yourself in this scenario also. Will you be exhausted if you have that long commute? Will you want to miss out on the day to day family life in favor of living in a different city during the week and only enjoy them on weekends? It is really hard decision because at the base of it all you want a happy family. Good luck!
I'm with Analisa. I think you need to think about it more....3 hours a day in a car will put mileage on more than the car. The question I would ask myself...at the end of the day, what do I want? I am a bit older than you (I think) and it's funny now how the moves for that better job - that took me away from my children - don't seem to have gotten me where I would l like to be...(read my blog and you will understand).
ReplyDeleteWow...what an exciting opportunity. Unfortunately the opportunity comes with a lot of questions you and your family must sort out first. I'm with Barbara--ask your husband and daughter how they feel about the different options.
ReplyDeleteIf it were me, I would probably "try the job out" to see if it's something I really wanted to do BEFORE I uprooted my family. Try the commute for a few weeks...get your feet wet. Then you could decide about the apartment. If you and your soon could split an apartment, that would be perfect. If you love the job as much as you think you will, then maybe compromise and split the difference in mileage and move the family.
I guess it's just that I have spent my life putting everyone ahead of my own personal wants and needs. It's going to be a hard choice.
If you spend the time away, are you going to be willing to forego some opportunities of making lasting memories with your daughter? She's in 10th grade, so the last couple of years are very important for a child. If you decide to move, your daughter would probably be devestated (for a while, at least), but she would make more friends at the new school. I moved in my 10th grade year of high School, but I survived.
I wish you the best and you make these difficult decisions. I would suggest "trying on" several of your options before taking drastic steps. Do whatever will make you happy.
Shelley
PS...You'll have to keep us posted on what you do! :-)
ReplyDeleteShelley Bailey